The changing ways we show love

Wedding Proposal Changing

Above: The difference in wedding proposals now and then, as highlighted in an ugly drawing from my personal notebook. Note the Roman numerals in the right frame. i) Fireworks in the sky, ii) Crowd consisting of friends and passersby,  iii)There always must be a cameraman,  iv)Yet even more random passersby and members of public who must be aware of the romantic gesture that is about to take place.

Recently in Singapore there have been a steady number of low-key stories featuring marriage proposals (STOMP, STOMP2, STOMP3, STOMPyetagain). I’m pretty sure every guy wants to pop the question (and every girl wants the question popped) in as memorable, romantic and unique way as humanly possible. But sometimes the content of the message can get lost in the framing. Maybe it’s because of narcissism, maybe its cause of the social media and the idea of; “if isn’t on film, it never happened” (or as it is said in Singapore, No Picture No Talk). But somehow I feel that proposing became less a romantic gesture between two people and more of a narcissistic act to show the world two things:

1. I love her THIIIIIIIISSSS much/my boyfriend loves me THIIIIIIIISSSS much.

2. I have THISSSSSSSSS much moolah to spend/ my boyfriend has THISSSSSSSSS much moolah to spend

Along the way I think it creates undue stress on both parties. Can you imagine the girl having to say yes because everyone is watching her? Can you imagine the pressure on the guy to plan something spectacular and please the girl? (Not to forgetting to appoint an official videographer for the event so the whole world knows about the proposal). Then there is the always the question of the girl saying no.

And this is just at the proposal stage! Can you imagine how grand (read: ego stroking) the wedding is going to be? Can you imagine the price tag? But then again hey, it seems that in this day and age, telling your significant other how much you love him/her isn’t as important as telling the world how much you love your significant other.


On a sidenote, I am aware of a similar article floating in the web with a similar angle. Someone beat me to the punch. Well sort of. Do you know what this means? Means I have to be more kilat (Malay slang, similar to “on the ball”).



  1. Kristle

    How odd that your post came up just a day after.

  2. lola

    One thing I could say about this proposal in the public (inclusive passer-by & friends & relatives will crowd around) is utterly ridiculous – showing off to the world how much he/she mean a lot to his/her partner, paying loadsome amount to videographer to create memories together…

    What if their relationship (or better still, marriage) last for few years only? Don’t they waste their money, time, energy and maybe effort? Anyway, it’s up to couples out there who wish to do such things. I can’t agree more to your words. It’s gonna be typical in this generation and will still continue, perhaps something more unique, surprising proposing gestures in the upcoming years.

    Haha your drawing is kool. Keep it up! 🙂

    And what, what is to be more “kilat” (on the ball)? I never heard this such Malay slang before. No other better Malay words eh, like “cekap” or something relevant? Hahahaha!

    • Hiya Lola!

      Hard to say. Maybe, just maybe the definition of love has changed. It may not be the same as our parents’ time but, for all we know it will prove more than sufficient for the upcoming generations.

      Eh heh thanks for the compliments. =)

      I think there is. I remember the term being used a lot during National Service = / Originally, it was meant to indicate that someone’s boots were polished. Then I think it expanded and referred to how tip top an individual was.

      I should have payed more attention in Malay class…..

      • lola

        haha Oliver dont feel “regret” about you should have paid more attention in Malay class. its never too late yo! you can still check out w your Malay friends around 🙂

        eh wait i got some soalan cepu mas (you know what is cepu mas kan?) for you.. i know that you are mixed, but what race is it? mind sharing? heh no forcing tho

      • my race? I’m complicated. meh heh Sides didn’t I tell you before?

  3. lola

    er….. since when did you tell me about it? i guess you caught the wrong woman eh. ouh lemme chinese, eurasian, malay eejit? hehe

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